I received the following CV from a creative-type and thought of you, because it not only contains quite a few of your banned words and phrases, but one I have never heard of before. Does anyone know what ‘ideation’ means? Is it a madey uppy marketing word?

And anyone who calls themselves a ‘guru’ should have their ears boxed and their shins scraped.

‘I am a Marketing and Public Relations Guru and/or Manager in the TV/Entertainment Industry, Creative Director, Graphic Designer, Copywriter, and Producer.’

‘I am a creative thinker, a thought leader, with a passion for innovation and change. I am organized, enthusiastic, and a goal-oriented individual, committed to achieving success. I have a solid foundation in sales & marketing, design, project management, media planning, as well as excellent presentation and communication skills capable of leading and directing teams to measurable results.’

‘I have a passion for ideation, marketing, and innovation, and as your service provider, I will devote my talents to the success of your project and will help your business or service stand out in a crowd.’

I can’t think of anything more demotivating than being patronised by my employer like this.

Saw one today that made me think of you.

“Making a difference team” was stitched onto the back of a jacket of a cleaner at Paddington station. A cleaner. “Excuse me sir, can I make a difference in the bathroom?”

Undoubtedly the lady in question does a fantastic job, but it looks like this war against corporate non-speak (its like the War on Terror only with better shoes) has extended a new battlefront – bring on the seamstresses!

(Doh, the answer is obvious, now I think about it . . .)