Archive for the ‘How not to write’ Category

Exciting news!

Friday, May 27th, 2011

Exciting. It’s the lazy marketer’s favourite word.

A quick search for this common hyperbole in my inbox returned the following examples of distinctly unexciting news and offers.

Think of them next time you’re tempted to draw on this overused, overblown adjective. If there’s a chance your reader won’t really be trembling in anticipation, choose a different word. (more…)

Guest post: Corp speak down under

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Brits, if you thought laid-back Aussies would be immune to biz babble, how wrong you were. In this wonderful guest post, Teresa North, an ex-pat communicator, reports back on the verbiage that’s doing the rounds down under. (more…)

How to write a headline that guarantees nobody will read your story

Friday, February 25th, 2011

Hey, you. Yes, you – the internal comms writer with that sullen look on your face because the guys in the business don’t respect your expertise. Were these headlines yours? (more…)

We’re driving and delivering efficiencies – except when it comes to writing

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

A reader recently sent me a wonderful piece of corporate babble. Here are some highlights, anonymised to protect the illiterate and rubricated for your reading pleasure. (more…)

Brand engagement? Bring on the gobbledygook!

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

What do you think this might be?

an unparalleled experiential platform used to engage key audiences through a unique and unforgettable brand experience…

[it] connects consumers with brands through a personalised, relevant and memorable experience…

The experience appeals to guests at a sensory and emotional level, creating a bond between brand and consumer.

Leave a comment telling me what you think is being described – then find out here.

Was it what you expected? Did the “brand engagement” jargon do it justice?

Fedspeak, otherwise known as “purposeful obfuscation”

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

I’ve been working with several teams of economists lately and it’s got me wondering where they learn to write like that. If you’re lucky enough to have encountered anything penned by an economist, you’ll be familiar with their style: a sort of faux academic-ese in which opacity is deemed an acceptable way to hedge one’s argument. (more…)

Gobbledygook of the week

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

In a press release issued by a leading provider of “communication solutions”, a corporate spokesperson is quoted as opining:

“Online communities, enabled by social media tools, are having a transformational effect on enterprise communication, enabling stakeholders to access multiple information points on demand, choose their influencers and build global communities of engagement quickly and simply, and outside traditional corporate boundaries.”

Or as a normal person would say it . . .

“Increasingly, companies are talking to people online.”

Gobbledygook of the week

Monday, July 12th, 2010

Just rediscovered this wonderful piece of text in my file marked “Bad Writing”. If I recall correctly, it’s from a magazine that my local council sent to all the residents in the borough.

“Better information exchange mechanisms will be implemented and cross borough working encouraged in order to ensure better coordination of security activities, such as security patrolling and the effective collation of information relating to crime and any potential security threats to the area.”

In other words . . .

“We will work together to tackle crime.”

Audience awareness – FAIL!!

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

In my last post, Who do you think you’re talking to?, I discussed how easy it is to fall into the trap of writing for the wrong audience. Here, I present five more instances of writers who are trying to please the wrong reader – everyone a real-life example. Don’t fall into the same traps as these writers! (more…)

Who do you think you’re talking to?

Monday, June 21st, 2010

As any good copywriter will tell you, nothing’s more essential than knowing your audience. Yes, accurate spelling and a half-decent grasp of grammar are important, but a mastery of the semicolon isn’t going to win you any more readers (it might even lose you some, if this blogger, with whom I tend to agree, is to be believed).

What matters is understanding what makes your reader tick – knowing what it is that gets her up in the morning or keeps her awake at night.

But if you’re a comms professional working in a large organisation, turning this knowledge into compelling copy can be a real struggle, because there’s so much pressure on you to write for the wrong reader. (more…)