On Friday, I met a friend of a friend whose new CEO is big on “customer delight”. This friend of a friend didn’t seem wholly convinced by the idea – and you can kind of see his point.
Do customers really expect to be delighted these days? Are they disappointed when merely satisfied? (more…)
I’m reading a book about finance at the moment and in it I came across a hedge fund called:
The High-Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund
Quite a mouthful, eh? (more…)
A reader forwarded the following job advert to me. I believe it to be genuine, so if you’re interested, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with him.
Reporting directly to the CEO, and functioning as critical member of the global senior leadership team, the MD-Sales, Europe (MDSE) will assume a key leadership/transformational role in the organization. He/she will directly manage, upgrade and continue to build out/enhance a European sales team (provide leadership, direction, coaching, mentoring, sales discipline, team building etc.). Individual will, also, educate and train European staff members (sales and delivery/operations) to embrace and execute against an evolving, transformational shift in go-to-market strategy. Acting as the Company’s external thought leader, spokesperson and evangelist for the European community, the MDSE will clearly and inspirationally articulate and promote the Company’s innovative vision and messaging in order to build awareness and ongoing traction in the marketplace.
I’m so glad this a job that I’m singularly unqualified to do. (more…)
Organising a campaign? Want to get everyone involved? Keen to sound inclusive, exciting and a little bit down with the kids? Not sure what to call it? Why, just add to the list . . . (more…)
Read the strapline attached to any branch of local government or publicly funded service in the UK and you’ll soon realise just how much touchy-feely teamwork is involved in bleeding you of your hard-earned taxes. (more…)
Need to come up with a strapline that really sums up your company? Think carefully before going the way of the alliterative triplet.
Alliterative triplets are straplines where three words are chosen not because they capture the very essence of the brand they describe, but because, well, they just happen to share the same initial letter.
They’re the corporate equivalent of the bad poem that rhymes for the sake of it. (more…)
I’m very excited to have a letter in today’s FT. If you’ve ever been tempted to use the word “anticipate” as a synonym for “expect” (or felt grouchy at people who do) do take a look at it here.
Sometime last year our traffic wardens became “civil enforcement officers”. Actually, there had been an intermediary stage I’d missed when they were known as “parking attendants”.
Such inflationary language is, as ever, clearly laughable. (more…)
I’m pleased to announce that the winner of Friday’s strapline competition is Lucy Nixon. Here’s the winning entry:
That was fun! Here are my guesses:
1. Just do it
2. Think global; act local
3. The best a man can get
4. Every little helps
5. Refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach
6. It could be you
7. A Mars a day helps you work rest and play
8. No Financial Times, no comment
9. Let your fingers do the walking
10. The Future is Orange
Glad you found it a fun exercise, Lucy – we are clearly kindred spirits! A copy of Strunk and White will be winging its way over to you soon.
It’s always a good idea to get inside your clients’ heads, so I’ve taken 10 famous advertising slogans and translated them into bad corporatese. Can you work out the straplines the copywriter came up with after being sent these clunky first drafts by the guys from corporate? (more…)
